Unexpected Companions

Man is a social animal, he is evolutionarily and biologically hardwired for interacting with others, understand their feeling and intentions.

Of the various social activities that humans partake, eating food in one of the commonest.Food is also an occasion for sharing. A famous quote that says “ families that eat together, stay together.”  For as long as I remember, my father has always encouraged eating meals together on a dining table.This habit stuck. When I moved to the hostel, I would always seek a bunch of people in the Mess with whom to share a meal with. After getting married, my husband knowing well my need for company during mealtimes often came home for lunch break. However, increasing workload and the distance of the home from office soon made it difficult to have lunch together. Lunch then started seeming like work. In order to make it enjoyable, I started calling friends over on some days or eating while skype chatting with them. However, this could not be done every day. Finally, I found my perfect companion, a radio program at lunch hour, ‘Fresh air’ hosted by Terry Gross. Terry would call on eminent authors, thought leaders on her show and ask them about their latest book or movies. The conversation between Terry and the various guests gave me a vicarious sense of someone talking to me and that was good enough to make my lunch appetizing again.

Susie with her soft toys as companion for tea

I commute to work on my Activa, it is a lonely activity. Mumbai rains made it almost impossible for me to use my bike, I had to depend on public transport, auto rickshaw and uber. Initially, I disliked not having my own bike but slowly I started warming up to other modes of transport. Buses and trains gave me my daily share of walking and exercise, Uber and auto rickshaws my daily dose of gossip! I have often ended up having interesting conversations with auto and Uber drivers. I now know that auto rickshaws cost about 3 lakhs, that most rickshaw drivers in Mumbai are from Uttar Pradesh or Bihar, one of the auto drivers was a “Thakur” from my grandfather’s village in Bihar! He told me how people in Bihar take pride in not working and how Mumbai is the number 1 destination for anyone seeking work or money.  He said in Hindi “ Mumbai me paisa udta hai, pakadne wala chahiye” (There is surplus money in Mumbai, you just need someone to catch it).  An uber driver shared with me how uber is Godsend for him. He had come to Mumbai to tide over rough times and started as a driver for a rich lady, but she would never pay him on time despite driving 17 hours a day. He told me he loves how with Uber you can be your own boss, take rides when you want and how your salary gets credited to you on time without asking anyone! Another uber driver shared his observation about how foreigners are polite and never make them wait and respect their service, unlike the Indian counterparts. He also shared stories of how people game uber pool! I will not disclose it over this forum, lest more people abuse the service. This and a lot more snippets of real-life incidents. I really enjoy these conversations! It gives me insight into people’s daily lives, those people whose path would not ordinarily cross mine. Sometimes it makes my problems in life seem trivial.

I also love traveling alone in trains. Here too I have many memories of meeting people from different walks of life: a teacher, a journalist, a politician, wildlife photographer and animation artist are some with whom I have shared some intense conversations with. Most of these conversations have taken place 5-8years back. I don’t remember their names, I won’t remember their faces if I meet them again, but I do remember the conversation I had with them and how it made me feel.I remember listening intently to the teacher, let’s call her Mrs. Parthe, as she pointed out the social changes she is seeing in the younger generations who are given phones and I-pads early in their life. A young journalist in a small Tv channel of region language described how many times, the news is created in the studio itself (implying they can be fake). A handsome wildlife photographer who showed me the pictures he had clicked, an animation artist who described how she never felt like she is working because she loved what she did. The conversation I had with an old MLA of a communist party was unique because it took place despite the language barrier. He only spoke Bengali, I could only speak Hindi and English, yet we had a healthy debate about foreign direct investment ( which was hot topic those days). For once I felt I had met an honest politician, who cared deeply for the people who elected him! He told me that he thinks that foreign direct investment is just legitimizing what the British Raj did when it ruled over us! How it looks good in newspapers but what it actually translates into for the poor people of that region, sighting ‘Singur incident’ as an example.

I am glad I have finally penned down some of these incidents while I still remember them. As times change I hope technology comes up with a  real life “Pensieve 1” where I can revisit my happy memories.

PIc taken from: https://www.hp-lexicon.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/dumbledore-pensieve.jpg

Pensieve is a term created by JK Rowling in Harry Potter series

I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form."—Albus Dumbledore explaining what a Pensieve is.