It is rather difficult to feel lonely in India. Not only because there are too many of us and one keeps bumping into one another, but also because there is a general bonhomie in the air that instantly helps you connect with others. Within weeks of coming back to India, I found myself effortlessly drawn into conversations with the local grocery guy, the maid, the security guard; sharing food with the assistants at the clinic, celebrating their birthdays; people who until recently I had no association with. It was not as if I was making any special attempts to socialize with them. It was happening by itself. I was unknowingly but surely entering into ‘undefined’ relationships with the others. It was not long before didi, tai, mausi, aunty, etc got suffixed to my name: I was automatically becoming part of some larger bond. In an attempt to decipher this bond, I came across a South African philosophy “Ubuntu”: the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity". The following paragraphs are examples of different situations when I have felt a part of this universal bond.
Pune recently celebrated the 10 day long Ganpati Pooja. Even if you are too busy to celebrate the euphoric atmosphere all around will gear you for celebrations. There is something for everyone: pooja and aarti for devotees, dhol tasha for youngsters,social skits performed at the Ganesh pandals for onlookers and curious people, lots of modak, loud music, decorations and rangoli and plenty of photo options. The excitement is palpable all around: sometimes in the form of loud speaker vibrations! I loved the common energy during the ‘Ganesh visarjan’ procession. Despite the chaos and the noise, the pushing and shoving, numerous camera and selfie sticks, it gave me a momentary high! It gave me a feeling of a community, even though I hardly knew anyone around me.
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A scene from Ganpati visarjan: Photo Credits: Apurva Thakur |
I am sure many of us have been helped at some point in time by kindly strangers. One might meet them anywhere: while walking down a quiet street or a busy market place, while travelling in a train, bus or flight, while waiting in a queue. The other day my sister and I had lost our way: as we were contemplating where to go, a passer-by noticed our dilemma, came up to us, asked where we wanted to go and guided us through the right route. A friend of mine once had to catch a connecting train with very little time for transfer from one to the other. One of the train pantry guys understood the situation and helped her to quickly transfer her luggage and catch the other train on time. But for his timely help, she would have missed her connecting train.
As a student I have traveled alone a lot, especially in trains. On most of these journeys, I have met some very friendly and interesting people from diverse backgrounds: a politician, a teacher, a wildlife conservationist and author, an animation artist, a television reporter are some that I remember. I don’t recall their names or the exact conversations, I may not even recognize them if they pass me by next time. What I do remember is sharing a nice time with them- over food, a few laughs and some games. Some passengers have voluntarily watched over my luggage for safety while I got down a platform, others have offered to buy food when they were getting some for themselves. A kind co passenger once shared his food with me when the trains’ pantry had reached its limit, some others have shared their seats if I have had a RAC (reservation against cancellation) or wait listed ticket.
There is a bond one shares with people who don’t really classify as friends or relatives but who we meet often: like the vegetable or grocery vendors we usually go to, the girls’ hostel mess boy, the security guards of work place or of one’s colony, the lift man, house maid among many others. We don’t realize but they too have an important role in our lives. A small interaction with them can sometimes make our day. I remember feeling teary eyed when our hostel mess boy, “Raju anna” offered his share of food every time I got late to lunch and the Mess food had run out. I feel grateful when our local grocery guy, “Bhavani bhaiya” remembers our order, likes and dislikes and gives us suggestion on some popular items that are suited to our taste. I sometimes take for granted when the dhobi bhaiya remembers to come an extra time to accommodate some last minute change in travel plans. All the above are every day examples of people who often go unnoticed.
I am glad to be a part of so many different relationships, it is as if everywhere there is someone who is looking out for you, I feel safe, I feel cared for. It is the little things that make life big. These ‘nameless people’ we meet in day to day life are part of the “little things in life” .
